It was gonna happen eventually- my oldest daughter has her first true love.
We're talking SERIOUS here-two months and counting. Since I, of course, was pristine and untainted until my honeymoon with my gay ex-husband, I'm a bit confused about how to deal with this new phenomenon.
The Boy spends a lot of time at my house. Therefore, I spend a lot of time at my house. They want privacy, which concerns me. So whenever The Boy is over, I naturally interrupt them, by my clock, approximately every two minutes with questions like:
"Are you guys hungry?"
"How's the movie?"
"Are you SURE you're not hungry?"
"Wanna order a pizza?"
" What do you guys think about the timetable for the withdrawl of our troops from Iraq?"
I think they really enjoy my company.
My paranoia started with the shoes. I was in my kitchen when I noticed the size of The Boy's sneakers. So I had the following intimate mother/daughter discussion with Scooter:
ME: "Hey honey, The Boy has REALLY big feet."
DAUGHTER: "Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet."
ME: "HaHaHaHa....WHAT?"
DAUGHTER: "They have big socks."
ME: Silence as I searched my purse for my meds.
I'm pleased to know that my daughter trusts me enough to confide in me this way.
But I'm also considering purchasing Morning After pills in bulk-she'll never taste them in her Frosted Flakes.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Update
First of all, Bemisfu IS an ancient form of martial arts-I did not choose this name to make a statement about the mentally retarded brand new better than ever Google accounts. No siree.
Cake...thank you for saving me some cake. And don't be concerned about freezer burn-I add it to every meal I make.
Clinky-No-I am not dead. I just look dead.
Stuckwith-I appreciate, as usual, your comments concerning my breasts. In fact, I had a student (Jen.....) ask me today that if I ever had a breast reduction operation if I would please save the extra and put them in cups for her.
Anyway, life has changed dramatically since I was last able to post because of my stupid exasperating updated Google account that I am in no way upset about because I now practice "Bemisfu" and am as centered as a Tibetan monk.
First, my oldest daughter has become My Little Criminal because of an incident involving a hockey game, golfballs, and REALLY brainfree 14 year old girls. More later-let's just say it's been a wicked fun learning experience for everyone! Almost as fun as learning about coal!
Secondly, my sister moved in with me and she's a little OCD about order and cleanliness which means I get a daily lecture about SOMETHING. She's gone for the weekend-luckily since I managed to somehow break a cupboard drawer in the kitchen today and it's protruding out at an angle-sort of like the way I park my car. I have until Sunday morning to get it fixed. I'm a little scared.
Third, oldest daughter as decided to live with me permanently, which means "First and Third" are sending me to my doctor for extra medication.
Anyway, I missed you guys. Maybe I'll be able to figure out how to write two actual days in a row! I'll give MYSELF smiley stickers for that.
Cake...thank you for saving me some cake. And don't be concerned about freezer burn-I add it to every meal I make.
Clinky-No-I am not dead. I just look dead.
Stuckwith-I appreciate, as usual, your comments concerning my breasts. In fact, I had a student (Jen.....) ask me today that if I ever had a breast reduction operation if I would please save the extra and put them in cups for her.
Anyway, life has changed dramatically since I was last able to post because of my stupid exasperating updated Google account that I am in no way upset about because I now practice "Bemisfu" and am as centered as a Tibetan monk.
First, my oldest daughter has become My Little Criminal because of an incident involving a hockey game, golfballs, and REALLY brainfree 14 year old girls. More later-let's just say it's been a wicked fun learning experience for everyone! Almost as fun as learning about coal!
Secondly, my sister moved in with me and she's a little OCD about order and cleanliness which means I get a daily lecture about SOMETHING. She's gone for the weekend-luckily since I managed to somehow break a cupboard drawer in the kitchen today and it's protruding out at an angle-sort of like the way I park my car. I have until Sunday morning to get it fixed. I'm a little scared.
Third, oldest daughter as decided to live with me permanently, which means "First and Third" are sending me to my doctor for extra medication.
Anyway, I missed you guys. Maybe I'll be able to figure out how to write two actual days in a row! I'll give MYSELF smiley stickers for that.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Once again
I had to change my blog name because again because....I don't even know anymore. So given my state of mind, I changed it to bemisfu. The "fu," of course, refers to Ferret Undies. I'm certainly not in a bad mood or anything.
But I've been DYING to write about this subject for months. Now that I have THIRD brand new username, I get to finally vent. Thanks User Friendly Google Beta Geeks-no wonder you guys are worth Billions.
Today's subject is coal. Since I had to listen to an entire report on this riveting subject while driving my 5th grader home from school, I think it's only fair that that I share what I learned.
Were you aware that "Coal is a very interesting thing to learn about!" Note the exclamation point-that certifies EXACTLY how interesting coal is. And you want to know something else? "For the people who mine all of that coal, it is not easy!"
Parenting isn't usually fun, but does it really require my listening to a three page essay on coal? I don't care about coal. Coal does not deserve an exclamation point. It's what you get in your stocking at Christmas if you've been bad. Period.
But I've been DYING to write about this subject for months. Now that I have THIRD brand new username, I get to finally vent. Thanks User Friendly Google Beta Geeks-no wonder you guys are worth Billions.
Today's subject is coal. Since I had to listen to an entire report on this riveting subject while driving my 5th grader home from school, I think it's only fair that that I share what I learned.
Were you aware that "Coal is a very interesting thing to learn about!" Note the exclamation point-that certifies EXACTLY how interesting coal is. And you want to know something else? "For the people who mine all of that coal, it is not easy!"
Parenting isn't usually fun, but does it really require my listening to a three page essay on coal? I don't care about coal. Coal does not deserve an exclamation point. It's what you get in your stocking at Christmas if you've been bad. Period.
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