It was gonna happen eventually- my oldest daughter has her first true love.
We're talking SERIOUS here-two months and counting. Since I, of course, was pristine and untainted until my honeymoon with my gay ex-husband, I'm a bit confused about how to deal with this new phenomenon.
The Boy spends a lot of time at my house. Therefore, I spend a lot of time at my house. They want privacy, which concerns me. So whenever The Boy is over, I naturally interrupt them, by my clock, approximately every two minutes with questions like:
"Are you guys hungry?"
"How's the movie?"
"Are you SURE you're not hungry?"
"Wanna order a pizza?"
" What do you guys think about the timetable for the withdrawl of our troops from Iraq?"
I think they really enjoy my company.
My paranoia started with the shoes. I was in my kitchen when I noticed the size of The Boy's sneakers. So I had the following intimate mother/daughter discussion with Scooter:
ME: "Hey honey, The Boy has REALLY big feet."
DAUGHTER: "Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet."
ME: "HaHaHaHa....WHAT?"
DAUGHTER: "They have big socks."
ME: Silence as I searched my purse for my meds.
I'm pleased to know that my daughter trusts me enough to confide in me this way.
But I'm also considering purchasing Morning After pills in bulk-she'll never taste them in her Frosted Flakes.
8 comments:
Hilarious!! Glad you weren't drinking something...it would've come out your nose for sure.
I remember getting The Talk...the first time I went to a party with my boyfriend-of-the-time, my parents saw me out the door with the words "Now, remember, we don't want a baby on the doorstep!!!"
The second talk was when they found my birth control pills...but that talk went more like this: *silent scream*.
Heh.
Oh man. I remember my first girlfriend's mother asking us how the movie was, and what I though about Desert Storm. I thought she was just being nice, but she was just totally cock blocking?
Okay okay, this is a serious issue for you and why I'm terrified of having girls. Seriously, if my wife has a girl it's going into one of those Chinese baby girl homes because I just wouldn't be able to deal with that situation. Puppy meds for all!
I wish I had big socks.
Dear Bemis:
You're leaving your fans hanging. Wah!
Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Pastry
hmmmm maybe she's too busy preparing to be a grandmother?
Why do I continue to check?
You know, Bemisfu (aka Momenger), I miss your blogs! However, I hope you're having a wonderful summer full of all of the best summer kinda stuff--drive-in movies, beaches, ice cream, like that!
Cheers,
Myrna Loy (aka Sparkle Plenty)
HEY!!! You're coming back--how great. Off I go to add you to my list of Guys and Dolls links.
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